journal
3.29.2026 goals i'm working towards:
- being better with initiating things with friends/making plans.
my MO has been self-isolating, coming up with weak reasons as to why i need to cancel plans, and self-identifying as a bad texter, but i'm tired of feeling so lonely.
yes i'm an introverted person and it sometimes feels like a great effort to just answer a text from a friend, but people are social creatures,
and i need to get myself out of my room at least a little bit more. talking with mostly just my family or coworkers can only bring me so much satisfaction socially.
this goal is important especially right now, in this season of life where i am ~going through it~.
currently, i have plans with a friend for tomorrow, and I had a lovely phonecall catching up with my long-distance bestie earlier today (hi Olive!! hehe). i have a little list in my head of other friends i've made in the past few months that i want to reconnect with and make plans with as well, and i will push myself to reach out to at least one friend a week to connect. it seems silly, but this has been such a challenge for me, and i'm excited to work on this part of my life and put more effort into maintaining friendships and building my community. i can be brave and put myself out there socially! it's gonna be okay! - investing more time into my hobbies, and subsequently, spending less time on my phone. i think i'm at a really strong start with this one! i've been reading more since the start of this year, and i've been taking a little time everyday to work on something creatively fulfilling, whether that is this website, my journal/scrapbook, coloring, sewing, or crochet (crochet has been on pause for a while actually because my wrist is recovering from strain, but i digress). i've just spent significantly less time on my phone doom-scrolling which feels good! i deleted the meta apps from my phone, and now only periodically check them on my computer to keep up with friends. i feel much better engaging with them in this way; ig is significantly less addictive when it's on my laptop. i frequently consider the idea of just straight up deleting my meta accounts and unplugging from social media all together, but it's hard when so many old friends from college and high school share what's going on in their lives on there. i fear the fomo that would come from walking away from it. but it does sound so freeing... ugh! i'll think about it.
- moving my body regularly in ways that i enjoy. i've been okay with this these past few months- i've gone on a lot of neighborhood walks and walks on the trail near my house, but i still want to feel a little more eneregtic and stronger in my body. i recently started learning how to juggle with scarves again, which has been a fun way to move a bit and be silly. i also have a weighted hula hoop which i haven't used it in a while— i need to bring that back into the rotation. i've also been doing yoga online on a somewhat regular basis! i've built it into my routine on workday mornings, but i have a tendency to skip it sometimes on the weekends, i hope to stretch and do at least a lil flow everyday!
- be more involved in my local theater scene! i'm currently preparing to perform in a phantom of the opera medley with a local concert band, which i am super excited about! the performance isn't until may, but it's been fun learning and preparing the music. there also are some auditions coming up with a few different local theater companies near me. one show is james and the giant peach which looks cute and fun, but there isn't a ton of info about it online, and i'm not sure if the music is my favorite. another show i'm interested in is bright star which was written by steve martin and edie brickell. this musical is full of folk and bluegrass and just looks like so much fun. auditions for the giant peach are in august, but i'm not sure when bright star will be. im hoping they don't conflict so i can audition for both! they're both just a little out of my comfort zone, but i'm excited to try something different. even though i'm more of an opera person, i do love to sing and belt along with the chicks and the indigo girls from time to time.
3.23.2026
today, i did a ton of spring cleaning to distract myself from everything going on in my life right now. and honestly, it felt so cathartic. something about cleaning a space and clearing away dirt, grime, and dust feels symbolic for moving through emotional/spritual dust and grime. i:
- washed my sheets
- dusted surfaces, nooks, and crannies
- vacuumed
- cleaned the shower curtain liner
- scrubbed the shower
- cleaned the bathroom
- cleaned my watterbottle
i took a moment to sit and relish in the efforts of my labors, when i noticed i had a missed call getting back to me about a job interview that i had recently. i called them back, and they kindly told me i didn't get the job (which i was so hopeful of getting). just when i thought things couldn't get worse, here we are. i wish i could share everything going on and how i'm feeling with my person, but that's also a part of the problem- our relationship is paused for the time being. i know all of these things are happening for a reason, and with time, i will feel better. this opportunity didn't work out because the universe (or whatever) has something else in store for me.
3.16.2026
i've been fixated on a sandwhich from a local sandwich chain. it comes with sprouts, tomato, bacon, pickles, thousand island dressing, and tons of avocado. (i could have other fixings on there, but i'm not a super big fan of pepperoncinis or red onions). it's theee perfect scooby-doo sandwhich. what's your favorite type of sandwich? what ingredients are your no-goes? i used to hate pickles as a kid, but now i enjoy them in my sandwiches.
3.14.2026
i'm learning how to code html for the first time! this is the first post on my webpage that i've created all by myself so far. i haven't added much css yet, so it's very bare bones right now. i'm excited to learn more and fine-tune my skills as i learn. thank you neocities
